Pilot

Everything's kind of hazy right now. I don't really know what I'm doing.

For the last couple weeks, I've been thinking about what's gonna happen in my life in terms of school, finances, my future job etc. It makes me frustrated 'cause I'm not sure how everything's gonna turn out. I've always been terrified of the unknown and that's what my future looks like to me.

I've been looking into getting another job (on top of my Barnes & Noble one) so I can have another income coming in during the summer. I spend my money recklessly sometimes and I worry about not having enough to pay for my rent or electricity, or for the big Disney World trip my family and I are taking at the end of the year. It's disheartening being an adult but feeling like I can't own up to the responsibilities adults have to do.

Not having enough money scares me. That's why I wanted to get another job. I told my sister about it and now she thinks that I'm putting too much pressure on myself. I guess I am. I've always been that way. I over think things, I fixate on things I can't control, I dwell. I definitely let my emotions control me.

When I got home from class today, I started thinking about where my life is heading. I have one more year left in school and then what? What can I do with an English degree? The funny thing is, there's actually a lot that you can do. Having an English degree doesn't really mean that I have to write novels (although, let's be real, I want to do that and it'd be the coolest thing in the world). However, I also feel like I'm not heading towards the right direction because I haven't been writing. The only writing I do nowadays are essays for school.

That's where this blog comes in the picture. My (wonderful) sister, Linda, thought that creating a blog could help with my current situation. If I can take this somewhere, I'd be able to write and make something for myself at the same time. She told me about her previous endeavors in trying to run a blog and how she always quits after a short while. But, I should have the motivation to keep going. Unlike my sister, I like to write.

I don't necessarily want this blog to be full of diary entries where I talk about my problems and complain about all the wrongs that are in my life. But truthfully, it will be that sometimes. I'm gonna have my bad days. I do have some really great ones too, though. I want to be able to talk about that. I've got an amazing and large family, each with a different, loving and outrageous personality. I'm a college student, struggling to find her place in the world. I've got a great group of friends who do not punish me for not being socially active all the time but love me still in spite of it. I've got a sweet boyfriend who supports me in everything that I do and makes me laugh uncontrollably. I want to be able to talk about them. I'll have work stories, complaints on school, date stories, and times spent with my family and friends. It'll be an adventure.

After all, in the words of Ellie Fredricksen from Up, "adventure is out there!" And I'm gonna live it up.

P.S. I'm a really big fan of Pixar movies. References will come up. Accept it.

P.P.S. I also like to watch TV. The title is definitely referring to a new show's first episode. You're really gonna have to deal with me and all of my perks.